It's been a while...

It's not a very creative title but there you go...

I just tracked down this little place and had a read of my last post.

Two years old...and it's funny considering the position I'm in now because at that time, it wasn't long until my then boyfriend and I were about to split up.

I can't remember who follows me on this but some people know that I got back with him fairly recently (about two months ago or something). If you didn't know, I'm sorry for not telling you if you're offended.

Anyway...I got back with him, knowing that he was eventually moving to Australia for at max (though maybe more "at least") a year. Today is the day that he went. 

This feeling is not pleasant, I expect it might get worse but for now it's just...dark. Like a shadow cast over a period of my future...it's central, and sucks my energy. I haven't cried sober yet (haha), but only when I was at his leaving party and very slightly drunk.

Until that moment, the time I spent with him was just ours in those two months, and I think I'll always look back on it in a melancholic and bittersweet way for as long as he's gone.

I don't know how he feels, he's not as open as I am and I have to respect that. He's gone because he wants to find himself in an environment that he's fallen in love with. I'm selfish in wanting him back but I want him to find what he's looking for and to find what he has set out to achieve.

Do I love him? I have always told myself that if you have to ask, then you probably don't. I think I'm on the road though...it's just a shame that for now we can't really walk along it together.

O WELL LOOK I'M BACK

Geez sorry blog, IT'S BEEN AGES. I've meant to update you but...ah well, sorry D:.
So wut's been goin on in my life? Well Kaa and Nu came round to visit :3 it was awesome and we of course went to Ichiban...mmmm seafood ramen nomalom, though I really liked what Kirsty had too (I'm sure Nu's was also nice :B). We watched The Uninvited as well, a remake of A Tale of Two Sisters...when we first heard of this remake we were all skeptical and even a little insulted but wow, it was actually pretty good and I had completely forgotten the twist haha, so good times. We also went to Kelvingrove Park, along with Jamie, it was nice and we walked around the West End for a bit...maybe I'll live there next year...maybe I'll win the lottery, who knows.
I've started the last block of my college course, wow how time flies. For one of the classes I have to make an electronic multi-media package (lol) so I'm gonna do a music video :/. The song I'm gonna use is "From Dusk 'Till Dawn" by Abingdon Boys School, as I think it's lovely and I have an emotional connection to it as well :3 (aah, London...what a magical day...even if we did almost get hypothermia). Of course I'm going to make the video depressing...I'm a sucker for sob BD.
This block my band will be performing for sure...as it's actually part of the course at this time of the year so YES finally. Though we have a bit of work to do I think, soon we'll be recording O:.
Other than that...seeing Scott this weekend (god, I mention him in just about every blog?) haven't seen him for nearly a week...not that that's a lot different from what's becoming the usual. Not that I should complain, I have it quite good really~.
BAI GAIZ xoxoxo EX-OOH

Soz blog...

I haven't posted in ages! My last one was like a week ago, before I went home. Which was a week ago...wow...does't seem that long since I was there.
So what's been happening...um not a lot. Oh lol! Kris, from my band, was drunk last Friday...it was hilarious, we just like messed around and Jaqs, our singer was drunk yesterday. Fun times...yesterday we were takin turns giving stupid lyrics for a song like - "If you put a cat in the oven it's not gonna come out a cake" and "A double vodka and a baked potato". Yes it doesn't make much sense at all...but with the theme of the band it has quite a lot of ned references haha. I like how the titles of our songs have NOTHING to do with what the lyrics are about "Hum Ma Baws" "Jab to the Coupon" "Fronty Nanty"...haha, anyway.
Last night was the first time I'd seen Scott for a week as well...and he still hasn't given up smoking, but he's going to the doctor's and he says hopefully he'll get something to help him stop from that doctor. Fingers crossed~, so yeah I stayed at his last night and we watched two films. Mall Cop, starring Kevin James from King of Queens it was pretty funny :3 and for a comedian I think he's a pretty good actor actually. Then we watched the Haunting in Connecticut, and the only thing I found really scary was the ghost images in the end credits haha...oh and when the kid goes down the kitchen lift thing gets trapped and burned in a fire...I think those things are creepy anyway. On a side note, I think I'm getting more used to sleeping with Scott (I mean literally sleeping, not sexy time) or maybe it's more his bed. I much prefer going to his than here, it's much more free and his bed is more comfy...his flat is nice and his dog is lovely. Also his mum is nice. Oh! We also watched Eastenders Live and Bradley died! : ( I kinda fancied him, what a shame...the actual fall from the building looked really realistic and I thought the episode was done well for a live. Not that I am an actual Eastenders fan, I sometimes watch it if it's on but it was live man, I wanted to see it.
SO PLANS FOR TODAY? No idea...I'm kinda tired so mebbe I could sleep but meh...*cries* What am I gonna doo?

xoxoxo EX-OOH.

AHH!

Again, I completely forgot to update my blog yesterday! I went to bed at eleven last night after watching skins as I was le tired, and got off to sleep pretty quickly. I woke up quite early and couldn't really get back to sleep...so although I have college at 1pm I got up at like 8am XD.
So a thing I regretted to tell you all on Wednesday is that I found out someone in my course likes X Japan and Placebo. It was quite amazing o: he just happened to ask what music I was into and I replied with "Japanese Music". So yeah that was awesome, and yesterday (Thursday) well...nothing much happened except I got Scott a Valentine's Day card...which reads inside (I thought the card was sealed at the time) "You and me - Together forever". I'm going to have to edit this in some light hearted way, cos if not that's most likely gonna come across as creepy. There were loooads of cards with "I love you" and "To the one I love" but not enough, I feel, for the people who are in new relationships and aren't -there- yet. Ah...the whole thing is just a market, but...I guess it can be nice...it's an excuse to celebrate your relationship with your partner. Though should you really need an excuse...?
Now on to today...well...nothing much has happened so far because we're not that far into the day. I'm going to Scott's tonight...his mum is away ;D. I can't remember how much the friggin' ticket for the train costs though. Then tomorrow, I'm going home : D! Though I have quite a lot of essay work to do v_v. Hopefully MOM can help me with some of it, make sure it sounds okay. Then next Wednesday I should be done with Communications! Yay : D.

xoxoxo EX-OOH

Demon Couch

It got me...it sucks your life force and you're asleep, properly waking up a couple of hours later. I didn't get much sleep last night and I actually -worked- today. Well more than usual...ah gotta write a 1000 word on Ruthie Henshall and another essay on the relationship between her and her manager.
Also I've been liking my outfit for the past couple of days :3...I have a few styles I think including a schoolboy kind of look, "uke" look and...well I still need to make the rocker look I believe. Shopping can be so expensive though v_v and I am reluctant to shop at Primark sometimes because well...-everybody- goes there and people can end up looking the same.
My gran sent me a box full of chocolate bars, I love her ;v;. Oh that reminds me, must book bus ticket home for Saturday :3.

xoxoxo EX-OOH

Chews-day

Can't believe how late it is. AAH.
Apparently a presentation is due tomorrow, oops. I haven't contacted Ruthie Henshall's management lady yet :/! Ah well it doesn't seem like a lot of people have done it <.< >.>, that's no excuse but still...
More song making todaaay : D. There's this song in which I have quite a boring bass line XD but it goes with the song well and I like the song itself. It's reeeeally peaceful and has a really pretty guitar part :3. Then we moved on to making ANOTHER one. Seriously we have so much in the bag...can't wait until they're all completed though.
So I'm going home this weekend :3 on Sachoorday (aka Saturday) yay, can't wait to see my kitty :3............................oh yeah and my friends and family BD. Just kidding, I miss all of you :B. Dunno what I'm gonna do...bask in the glory that is home I suppose. Ah, I should really work on my presentation there aswell, will do. I promise. I promise you blog, and I couldn't possibly break one with you :'D.
I just ate a bag of milk buttons and almost a box of gingerbread men...serious fruit need now.

xoxoxo EX-OOH.

Monday = Glee

Yes indeed it does :3. Ah...it;s strange how you can count how quickly the weeks are rushing by if you watch a scheduled weekly program. It's kind of scary and a slap in the face as well. I gotta get a move on with my work,
I am knackered, I didn't go to sleep last night on purpose because I wasn't tired enough in the early morning and I knew if I went to bed later I might end up sleeping in again until 6/7pm. So here I am, about to go to bed.
I did do some shopping though today :3 got me some cheap awesome clothes and some foods. OOOOOH FASHION. After watching The Devil Wears Prada, The September Issue and then Gok's Fashion Fix in one night...clothes were everywhere XD. Though doing the washing today (which I still haven't unpacked, shities) I saw how many clothes I did have ._....my perception of clothing sure has changed over the years.
In other news, Scott is at his friend's birthday thing, which involves going to a casino haha, so hopefully he'll win me some money ;D. Also, I have no idea what to get him for Valentine's Day.
Well, it's time to sleep, yay :3!

xoxoxo EX-OOH.